Paul Johnson Facts!
- Paul Johnson calls your uncontrolled region your "ash heap on-deck circle".
- The symbol for superior Potence was molded from an impression left by Paul Johnson's fist when he punched a diamond.
- Paul Johnson has no Predator. All players are his Prey.
- When untapping, Paul Johnson doesn't rotate his cards; he turns the tables.
- The Master Phase. That's what you call the time period in which Paul Johnson does anything.
- There is no active region. Only a holding area for minions Paul Johnson has not yet chosen to send to the torpor.
- Paul Johnson once had a 'Who has more testicles contest' with Lance Armstrong. Paul won. By five! (ok. I stole that one but i like it a bunch and couldn't resist).
- Paul Johnson's minions are always "ready".
- Paul Johnson can pull-off a card combo with only 1 card.
- Paul Johnson will never play "Mercy for the Weak" due to obvious moral objections.
- Paul Johnson never steals minions. He only takes back what was his to begin with.
- Paul Johnson's vampires never burn blood. He first sheds your blood and then uses it instead.
- Paul Johnson can keep a deal and break it at the same time.
- Paul Johnson never loses. He only spares you for a while longer.
- The multi-judge system cannot be used when Paul Johnson is playing. There is only one judge, jury and executioner: Paul Johnson.
- Paul Johnson once struck a deal with another player--and even that was at first strike.
- Paul Johnson has the Edge. Always.
- Political Actions were designed to allow other players to vote in favor of things Paul Johnson was going to do anyway.
- Paul Johnson gains a pool when he blinks.
- Paul Johnson once won a tournament with a 90-card Mummify deck and 12 copies of Uriah Winter.
- Paul Johnson never reacts. He simply acts during other players' turns.
- Everything is a Trifle to Paul Johnson--especially kicking your ass.
- All players' starting pool is a loan from Paul Johnson. The loan is due immediately.
by Robert Goudie. June 2008
